Moving forward

July 23, 2025

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to beginning this process; it’s made me question a lot of things I think I know or thought I knew about myself.

In the end, I decided I needed to do this to move forward. I can’t keep being stuck in my own mind and in my own emotions. So I thought I would begin this blog…and face my own fears head on.

My hope is that it will help someone else, anyone else, who may be having a tough time but isn’t quite sure where to go.

I know I was lost for a while; still am sometimes. But that’s ok. Because I am able to see now that the memories I face are a testament to my family’s strength. To mine.

And then I wondered, “Where do I start? At the beginning?” But I don’t want to go back. I don’t think that will help.

So I’m going to start right where I am. Here. Today. Trying to keep moving forward when the worst day of my life still lingers through every day I get. And I know how dramatic that sounds but it’s true; some events truly are the worst day of your life, even if things turned out fine in the end. And they did.

You’ll get my story in time. Learn what happened that led me down this very long road. The fights I faced. The dark moments I struggled in. And the little triumphs I savor. This will be hard, emotional, and real. Mostly real.

Because this whole journey has been nothing but real. Real fears, real pain, and very real emotion. Trauma tends to do that.

I want this to come out naturally so I won’t be scripting anything here. I have almost 40 pages of writing I could share, and some I probably will, at least excerpts of it. But I don’t want it to feel forced by using something that, at the time, was just meant for me. Something that was completely uncensored. And I will share some, as I said, just selectively.

In the end, I just want people to know that they are not alone; that there are others that understand the weight of their mind and emotions controlling their every day, every interaction. That it’s ok to set boundaries and seek help. That it’s ok to feel vulnerable and angry. And especially that they don’t need validation for what they are feeling. It doesn’t require explanation and there is no time limit to healing.